It’s the holiday season and….. after hearing stories throughout the day yesterday on Christmas from my Father, Mother, Aunts and Uncles. I’m able to reflect and when I think about what I’m going to end up writing here…. it’s something I’ve always known but….. I really really love my Grand-mothers. I was so deeply connected to both of them and I’m super thankful that my parents ensured that these connections happened. My grand-parents are a big part of my parents character and my own as well (although we’ve got lots of differences and different personalities haha).
I now imagine this is why we took so many trips back to Jamaica after moving to Canada. After my Paternal Grandma passed we switched from going back every year (sometimes twice a year) to maybe every other year. We could have also gone less because we had more family leaving the island, so we had less places to stay. Now, we rarely go as both my grand-mothers have passed on.
As time drifts on and conversations happen at family dinners I have thoughts pop into my mind about the phone calls I had with both of these amazing women. It’s pretty awesome as everything comes back very vividly to me. Often I can’t imagine how these two women knew so much…. and always had the right things to say. I’m very happy that I still have reminders in my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and baby cousins :-) :-)!!! I can see how impactful my Grand-mothers were to this day on all their children, what that means to their children and children’s children. It’s very inspiring and it’s amazing how positive everyone can get when reflecting on the moments they’ve shared with both women. They most certainly were the rocks in both my Mothers and Fathers families.
There is a sense of pride, passion and belonging within my mother’s family that has really set the tone for how I live my life. Some could say we’re all too opinionated haha but…. While everyone may have differences they can find a way to make compromises to respect each others wishes… likely after expressing their displeasure with your choices (haha), but you will ultimately have the support you need to carry on with the decision you’ve made.
Yesterday, I was hearing stories of how my mom and her siblings all shared time together growing up, taking care of each other and actually respecting everyone's different personalities is something that I think resonates with me and likely contributed majorly to the character I have now. It’s also how I grew up with my cousins in Canada, so now that I’m older and we’re all much busier it’s very apparent that how close we were growing up was key to our individual lives in Canada.
Looking back, my Paternal Grandma had so much pride and faith in me. She was so kind and quaint. She always always made sure my brother and I felt as much love as possible. She really made me feel “important” and I’m pretty sure that has stuck with me. Even now, in moments when I’m stuck I can think of her and find a way…. almost for her, through my self-belief positively. I find that my father is very much like this too in a sense, even when he has disagreements with me he will reflect and return with a way to provide advice on what the next steps should be. My mother also has the make me feel “important” quality that I’d now understand as trust. When I played football at U of T… the coaches who tried to motivate by “fear” never jived with me. I suffered in that environment, looking back my Grandma’s trust and motivation to encourage me to accomplish things is likely why. Her impact on me has enabled me to really understand what I like and do not like. It’s let me focus on myself to really understand where I am in tune with my personal long-term goals. She also would warn me off things and clearly explain her emotional feeling about them, allowing me to gain a respectful understanding of emotional intelligence (a topic I love but am still not super good at).
When I think of my Maternal Grandma. She was my babysitter/day care for the first 5 years of my life. She loved to talk about this with me and it must have created a deep bond and connection from sharing so much time together. She had so many stories about funny things I did as a fussy baby and I really enjoyed hearing them (one being…. apparently I cried when Mommy dropped me off… and only stopped when Mommy returned… hahaha). My mother has an elder sister but similar to my younger sister she was the first girl born in a while and I wonder if my mom having kids and being in Jamaica for my Grand-mother was a moment to pass on knowledge and share “best-practices” (haha to use a business term).
My Maternal Grandma was sharp until the end, I loved chatting with her and discussing my emotions on uncertainty and making decisions (especially during university). She always always always knew how to assess the situation and narrow down the options at hand. Nowadays I would say her critical analysis skills were off the charts. I very much like to think of my life this way…looking back on it now…maybe she only did that because she knew that’s how I like to think? And honestly…that level of communication skills is amazing to me. I’m not the best at really understanding someone else’s mind because there’s so much going on in my own (haha), but by having so many children Grandma must have mastered this and could easily apply the skill to her thinking. Her memory recall was also amazing, because she could very vividly describe the impactful moments of her life and make it feel as if you were there too. Some of my cousins loved this for historical moments in Jamaica that we weren’t there for. She also knew how to be stern and I will always remember a few conversations I came away amazed from. One of which being her advice on how to support my sister through any struggles she may have in life when my sister had a rough time in high-school. Looking back, it’s quite incredible that she could always have the right tone and pulse on the conversation all the way from Jamaica sitting in her favourite chair.
So I’ll end this here but… They were both so competent at what they did and I am super proud to have known these women so well. I’m incredibly happy to have their memories with me forever. I’m thankful for being able to write this out to really reflect on how their impact on me and subtle nudges through very effective conversations at key moments has molded and shaped my life…. Or my identity to show me who I really am. As Christmas becomes less about the physical gifts I get, I now know, the love from both my Grandma’s is one of the most important gifts I’ve ever received in my life and I’m thankful to have it forever! :-) :-)!!
Merci beaucoup, à bientôt!!
